Respect Authority

If there is one thing I don’t like to read about in the morning, it’s vaginas. 

This isn’t a gender bias; I don’t think I’d particularly enjoy reading about penii in the a.m. hours either. But chances are good no one’s going to start removing kidneys through penises. 

Indeed, surgeons removed a woman’s kidney through her vagina this week, so she could donate the much-needed organ to her ailing neice, and so she could forever be known as “that woman who had her kidney pulled out of her vagina.” 

This type of surgery, in which organs and other removable objects are pulled through existing orifices, instead of created ones, is supposed to be gaining in popularity: it’s easier, and reduces pain, scarring and recovery time. But limited availability, coupled with the fact that no one wants to tell friends they’re going in for a “transvaginal kidney removal,” have kept the practice under the radar. 

“It was easier than childbirth,” said transvaginal-removal patient Kimberly Johnson, who has three children. Well Kimberly, that’s probably because kidneys aren’t as big as infant children, and you don’t have to, well, birth them.

Let this be known, friends, family and potential donors (to me) of various expendable organs. If it came out of your vagina, keep it.