Respect Authority

Blast from the past, children of yesteryear.

I don’t know how “they” (those mysterious and ominous powers that be) ever managed to convince us that drinking beer is cooler than this.

Come to think of it, if they (again: mysterious, ominous) were able to come up with some way to infuse beer within these vile and noxious potions of prepubescent glee I think I’d finally be able to give up my lasting resentment over not being allowed to have recess anymore. Of course, they, being all… um, you know, mysterious and ominous and shit, would probably just end up making it illegal anyway, just like all the best toys. First cap guns that look like real guns, then candy cigarettes… what’s next? Robitussin? It’s fucking unacceptable.

A huge amount of art is dedicated to studying, paying tribute to, or actually creating beautiful things; nonetheless, there’s an entirely different side of art that dwells in the land of the ugly. And really, “ugly” and “beautiful” are subjective terms — a lot of artists celebrate ugliness because they find some kind of peculiar beauty in it, perhaps made more attractive by its contrast against things typically considered “pretty” in our culture. However, all relativism aside, these “Toddlerpedes” by Jon Beinart are fucking hideous.

There’s no point in trying to dissect the psychology behind these abominations — I don’t negotiate with obvious child molesters, okay? Look, it takes one to know one, man, and this guy is definitely a no good kid toucher. Read More ›