Respect Authority

Grindhouse, Quentin Tarantino’s 2007 collaborative project with every fucked up director ever (read: Robert Rodriguez, Eli Roth, and Rob Zombie) was an enjoyably mindless foray into intentionally campy gratuitous gore and violence. Not exactly a film with a lot of redeeming, deeper value — but it’s a fun ride nonetheless, and the shorter featurette presentation helped the individual films therein avoid flossing a dead horse.

In fact, the fake previews included as an intermission between the two short films, Roth’s completely over-the-top Planet Terror and Tarantino’s completely self-indulgent Death Proof, were almost as entertaining as the features themselves. The coup de grâce is easily the preview for an absurd horror slasher titled Thanksgiving, which chronicles the zany hijinks of a murderous pilgrim. It’s an uplifting story to be sure, and will only help you to realize that listening to your uncle fart all night was actually not that bad of a way to spend the holiday compared to the unsuspecting saps in this trailer.

Just as a caution, you should probably not watch this one at the office, unless, you know, you intern for Buffalo Bill and spend your working hours putting the lotion on the skin.

Oh, and just to preemptively clear the air: yes, he really is fucking the turkey with the human head at the end. Enjoy your leftovers, folks!

The future does freak me out, but sometimes the present is almost worse. The innovations afforded to us by scientific advancement these days can be as terrifying as they are mind-blowing, and when science advances beyond the realm of the necessary, all bets are truly off.

Robotic body parts, space technology, medical advancements - these are things I understood. Innovation for the sake of a better society. In fact, outside of the dozens of would-be inventors lining up to patent their latest get-rich-quick scheme, it does appear that the majority of scientific discoveries are made with an admirable purpose in mind. But there are exceptions, and probably have been ever since someone first realized they could use technology to maximize laziness. With useful-yet-unnecessary devices like the remote control fleshing out the bottom of the list, it takes something profoundly retarded to make it to the top. Enter Turducken. Read More ›