Respect Authority

At this point in our country’s mad dash to the great big finish line in the sky, you’ve probably been forced to sell your car and are now effectively living out of your iPhone, so you might as well make your completely gratuitous fashion accessory as functional as possible. And for those of us who already spend a good portion of our time on the street, Peter Fahey, founder of Sneaker Pimps, has developed the iSkateboard application. It’s sure to be almost as popular as 2008’s fiendish iMLookingForADealer app.

iSkateboard harnesses the daunting, mystical powers of Google Maps for a purpose even more useful than trying to look in your ex-girlfriend’s apartment window with Street View. The application currently boasts a directory of 30,000 skate spots, skate parks and skate shops worldwide, with more listings being added every day. So much for that secret spot you and your buddies used to never get kicked out of.

Additionally, iSkateboard has a streaming news feed that pulls content from Thrasher, The Skateboard Mag and Transworld, amongst others, making it even easier to, you know, not support the industry by actually paying for the magazines.

While this font of information is certainly awesome to behold, clearly I have a few reservations about it. It’s a little bit like when the Nazis open the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark. My face is kind of getting melted off here, but not in a good way. Read More ›

Zero Tolerance is a weekly feature, appearing on Saturdays, that briefly covers some unacceptable offense from the prior week. This is far from a hard science, in fact, it’s entirely likely that it’s not even fact based — indeed, this is pure opinionated ranting because it’s my website and I can cry if I want to. — RA

Have you ever been DPed by technology? It’s about as much fun as you would assume getting forcibly fucked in the mouth and ass at the same time would be, which is to say, not at all. In the past week, my iMac died and then mere days later, I lost all Internet connectivity, and I had actually paid that bill! At least my electricity is somehow still going strong, and thank god really, since I’ve needed the money I’ve allotted for that bill every month to bankroll my Oxycontin addiction for the past year.

My latest outrage is Comcast and the horrid parody of “service” they offer. Did you know that for the past four months I’ve been suffering from near daily Internet outages — chalking it up to all the porn I’m always downloading, heavy rains, and even the mystical power of voodoo — when it turns out the problem is actually due to the broken modem Comcast’s trusted retard squad provided me when they installed my cable and Internet service. Read More ›