Respect Authority

Why aren’t there more skate parks out there like this one they’re planning to build in San Francisco? Oh, right, probably because most of the time, skate parks are designed by oblivious city planners whose last experience with a skateboard was when they stepped on one twenty years ago in high school, fell in front of a crowd of laughing and jeering assholes (skateboarders), and vowed to make their hecklers pay by building parks with layouts so confounding that finding a line in them is like navigating The fucking Grape Escape.

San Francisco deserves a beautiful park full of realistic street obstacles considering the once mecca of street skating has slowly seen all its great ghosts of skateboarding past knobbed, destroyed, or otherwise exorcised. After all, most cities’ primary function is to crush hapless skaters back into the asphalt from which they came… unless of course they’re making the city a ton of cash for two weeks during the X-Games.

Skate parks are necessary considering the transient and nomadic nature of skating — this nature applies to spots as well. They come, they go, they’re infested with kooks on Razor scooters or security guards or, ugh, stupid pedestrians. Skate parks provide a haven for skaters who are but a tiny island in a sea of curbs and cracked pavement, and realistic street courses are essential for skaters looking to hone their skills in a place where they don’t have only two tries before a scary fat guy in a uniform comes lumbering over to ruin the fun. Read More ›