Respect Authority

"Let me tell you about credit default swaps."

Seems like everyone’s talking about the economy these days: politicians, educators, my hairdresser. But despite the whole “worst recession since the Great Depression” thing, there remain a few places where I expect to have my fun, worry-free, with nary a mention of Ben Bernanke, unemployment or the falling dollar. Sesame Street is one of those places. After all, in a fantastical one-street town populated by talking puppets, who has time to wonder whether the financial sector will recover? Moreover, who cares? Bert and Ernie are already living frugally by sharing an apartment, Big Bird doesn’t waste money on frivolities like “clothing” and Oscar lives in a trash can. If ever there was a cost-conscious bunch, this is it.

So I’m a little bummed to read today that Elmo has taken it upon his little red self to address the troubled economy in a PBS special for families. The show, which will air on Sept. 9 and includes Al Roker and Deborah Roberts, will allow Elmo to “help parents and young children deal with economic hardship,” and is aimed specifically at families with children aged 2 to 8.

I’m sorry, but since when has Sesame Street been a forum for educating children on current events? And since when has Elmo; who doesn’t have what I would consider an authoratiave tone of voice, and whose most famous verbal contribution is prolonged giggling; been a role model for economic education? (One might argue that the one-time consumer chaos created by Tickle Me Elmo is an example of the very conspicuous consumption behind our current crisis).

The whole point of Sesame Street, and every show like it, has always been to teach kids essential morals like “share” or “don’t hit,” with a bit of basic arithmetic and color recognition thrown in for good measure. That’s why they’re all set in nonexistent fantasy lands—Eureka had a castle, Blue had a cartoon house and I’m pretty sure the entirety of today’s Yo Gabba Gabba is filmed in front of a green screen. These shows aren’t about so-called “reality.” And to be frank, I don’t think it’s necessary for a child under the age of 10 to understand the recession, anymore than I spent fourth grade trying to wrap my mind around NAFTA. Rather, when you’re a child, the economies of supply and demand end with Mom: you demand, she decides whether to supply. Knowing that her motivation is a dwindling 401(K) rather than a refusal to invest in Super Soakers hardly matters.

So I say enough Sesame Street—you were already on thin ice when the Cookie Monster started talking about eating cookies “in moderation,” (as though 3-year-olds who imitated face-stuffing eating habits weren’t in all likelihood already doomed to years of social isolation) and now this. Let kids be kids, otherwise they might as well start watching CNN.