Respect Authority

The Holidays are the perfect time for nostalgia — like remembering what it was like when you could actually afford to buy presents for people — so here’s an oldie that never gets old. Don’t worry, you don’t have to say “thank you”… but you can scream it 20 times in a row.

Enjoy your coal today, dear readers. Meanwhile, this will be me in approximately five hours since my dumb mom said I can’t go downstairs until it gets light out.