Respect Authority

(Medicinal) marijuana is good for a few things - none the least of which is creativity. Um… not that I would know. Maybe I missed Lost or whatever’s on, but making art (is that pretentious?) is really not that bad of a way to spend a Thursday night. So yeah… turns out weed’s not just for eating lots of Cheez Its and vegging out to the iTunes visualizer after all. …Or so I heard.

Last week, I informed you all as to my ongoing struggle with onions — indeed, if my relationship with onions was listed on Facebook, it would be filed as “It’s Complicated,” although the only real complication is that I hate them but they’re fucking everywhere I look. However, Aaron is listed in another relationship, and although my companion and I are not tagged in any photos together yet, our love grows stronger by the day.

Many of you may be acquainted with the humble Pop-Tart, a seemingly boring, forgettable member of the League of Breakfast Foods. However, while Pop-Tarts may be the butt of every Toaster Strudel commercial’s joke, I’ve remained faithful after all these years, just as they too have always been by my side. They saw me off to my first day of school. They saw me off to many subsequent days of school. And they were even there, in the dark of night, sealed within paranoia-inducing crinkly wrapping during my early experiments with a certain plant that makes you lust after junk food and mediocre television offerings.

In fact, Pop-Tarts made up a very significant portion of my diet during most of my college years — and by “significant portion” I mean “almost all of.” Plus, that brief stay in the hospital was actually a nice little get away, so I don’t really have anything bad to say about the often-frosted delights other than, perhaps, that there are never enough of them in my kitchen. So without further adieu, here’s a self portrait for you, my friends stuffed with various delicious fillings. Because it really is just like they say: the best part of waking up, is a Pop-Tart in your mouth. Or something like that.