Respect Authority

So what if it’s been sort of a squirrely week here at RA… eat my nuts.

Disney has long been known for their infuriating practice of releasing DVDs available only for a limited time, which would be particularly frustrating if I had an uncontrollable obsession with Princess Jasmine and couldn’t find the Aladdin DVD anywhere after an entire day of searching… so… good thing I don’t. Really.

Sleeping Beauty is Disney’s first Blu-ray release, and comes with new annoyances all its own. For one thing, Beauty never wakes up! Oh, um, my bad — spoiler alert, everybody!

Additionally, the disc includes a truly insane EULA agreement in order to access extra BD-Live content. Specifically, the agreement is 57 pages long. Oh yeah, and there’s also a 63 page privacy policy you have to agree to as well. Not exactly light reading or the stuff of bedtime stories considering this is a film intended for fucking children. …Of course, by that I don’t mean you’re supposed to use the disc to actually fuck… well, you get it.

Then again, by the 20th page your kids might turn into sleeping beauties themselves, so maybe this is every parent’s dream? Aside from the recurring dream where they never had any goddamned kids in the first place, obvi.

In a way it’s perfect — get the kids used to signing ludicrous contracts early, so by the time they’re good brainwashed citizens agreeing to EULAs before taking a dump or sneezing will seem completely normal. On the other hand, maybe we’ll just end up with a lot of aspiring lawyers in 20 years.

Turns out around page 35 you actually agree to never tell another person about that priest’s boner in The Little Mermaid again, so you can bet that’s when I stopped clicking “I agree.” Shit’s important.

Of course, if you buy it from the 93 year old Asian woman in the subway, it’s conveniently EULA free. Just sayin’ is all. She might have advance copies of Saw V and The Secret Life of Bees too, but you didn’t hear that from me.

[Format War Central]