Respect Authority

So, it finally came out. And we finally saw what had been brewing for nearly 20 years. A Watchmen adaptation fairly successfully executed in a time when the level of special effects could do the source material justice. But a good movie is not all special effects (I’m looking at you, George). And so we were… not quite underwhelmed… I don’t know, maybe just whelmed.

Maybe the procession of critics over the years saying that Watchmen was unfilmable were right, even in a time in cinema history when a movie’s budget can include $16 million dollars to create just one of its characters (then again, that’s about $40 million cheaper than Will Smith, so who’s the real superman now?) Maybe “unfilmable” meant more than special effects or time constraints — comic book to silver screen adaptation poses a tougher language barrier than the current fad of giant blockbuster superhero epic IMAX experiences may suggest, and invariably, some things get lost in the translation.

Nonetheless, animated short Saturday Morning Watchmen uses a far more liberal execution of the term “translation” — it’s a vibrant, freakish Candyland where Adrian might stop a nuclear war by giving all those damn ‘toons The Dip. Indeed, where the famed Ozymandias and his mutant sidekick Bubastis chase ghouls around haunted amusement parks ala Shaggy and Scooby Doo, just without all the backstage pot smoking. A place where Dr. Manhattan can somehow actually be more surreal than when he’s building elaborate, gyrating castles out of Martian sand.

Yep… it’s pretty fucking weird, and hilarious… though there are far fewer boobies and guts in this particular adaptation. Instead, those have been replaced by Josie’s (of the Pussycats) keytar and good lessons about protecting the environment.

Still… part of me can’t help but fondly imagine a crossover with the Turtles. When pizza would be totally radical in the past, present, and future simultaneously.