Respect Authority

Normally, the term “subway sodomy” doesn’t raise a whole lot of eyebrows in New York. However, after reading this grisly report of five police officers allegedly beating the shit out of a Brooklyn man they saw smoking a joint and then fucking him in the ass with a walkie talkie antenna in a subway station, BOTH of my eyebrows are raised… with rage. Because these wrinkles are here to stay now, NYPD, so you can expect my Botox bill in the mail, you abusive, uneducated fucks.

Michael Mineo, a 24 year old white tattoo artist, was put in the hospital for four days following the alleged attack. NYPD spokesman Paul Browne asserts that the police witnessed Mineo smoking a joint, whereupon he ran from them, swallowing the joint (which probably made the subsequent walkie-talkie fucking that much more of a colorful experience), and eventually lost the chase only to be respectfully read his rights, handcuffed, and carted away to the nearest precinct. Oh yeah, except right before that, the cops, you know, beat him, stood on his neck, and sexually assaulted him. New York’s finest, everybody. Read More ›

I can’t pretend to know how counter-terrorism on a municipal level works. I imagine that it has something to do with randomly checking bags in random stations and treating city employees like dirty airline flyers. So I assume that when the MTA and NYPD thank paranoid riders, they have 1,944 foiled terror plots to thank them for. Or several hundred conspiracy arrests. Maybe at least a couple terror-related conspiracy charges. Actually I can’t find any arrests that have anything to do with a suspicious Arab guy, or backpack, in the subway.

You’re doing it wrong, NYPD. Remember —

Crime Fighting:

Not Crime Fighting: