Respect Authority

So much going on in the news these days, like Obama schooling Chinese children on how awesome it is to live in an uncensored country, and three-year-old Suri Cruise already being more adept at wearing heels than I am.  Here’s a Monday morning roundup.

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Megan Fox managed to once again perpetuate the idea of herself as an intellectual and under-challenged actress who was duped by the type-casting slobs of Hollywood into limiting herself career-wise to Michael Bay action flicks and thinly veiled soft-core porn horror films. Sorry Megan, you can talk to as many New York Times reporters as you want, women will still hate you.

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Time Inc. is sponsoring “Selling Detroit,” a contest in which five advertising agencies are producing campaigns to encourage young and creative types to consider Detroit as a place to live/work. Somehow I feel like they’d have better luck just…actually selling Detroit.

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Courteney Cox, David Arquette and Neve Campbell are all on board for Scream 4, written by Kevin Williamson, the genius behind Scream and Scream 2 (not sarcasm, I love those movies). I’m just not sure which is more indicative of a career plateau–starring in an ABC show about an older woman gaming on younger men, or returning to the same role you played 13 years ago.

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Former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey, who went down in flames after revealing an extra-marital affair with a man (and who also wrote a book where he admitted to doing dudes in “book stores and rest stops”), is currently training to become an Episcopal priest. …No commentary necessary.

When Megan Fox pouted that Michael Bay’s movies, particularly recent release Transformers 2, don’t give actors a chance to showcase their skills, I admit I scoffed. In part because I think this is a conclusion one might draw by simply watching Michael Bay movies, but also because I have little sympathy for the “Look at me, I’m so pretty and all anyone ever notices is how pretty I am” line of defense. That said, and having received numerous assurances that T2 is pretty fucking shitty, I was willing to give newbie Fox the benefit of the doubt.

So then what the fuck is this? Granted, Jennifer’s Body is Cody Diablo’s much-anticipated follow-up to snark fest Juno, but I find myself a little underwhelmed with the premise, and rather reluctant to believe Cody’s writing, without the wunderkind delivery of Ellen Page, will be anything except a throwback to 1990s horror movies, with 21st century nudity.

Then again, who knows? I think you’re a glorified blow-up doll, Megan Fox, but with the Academy  putting a whopping ten films up for best picture this year, maybe your latest softcore porn will get a nod.

See a better quality trailer here.