Respect Authority

You know things are bad when LL Cool J quits. 

The rap aficionado recently (and falsely, I might suggest) dubbed a “hip hop legend” during a guest-judge appearance on Project Runway, just quit his gig as the opening act for Janet Jackson’s beleaguered “Rock Witchu” tour. Citing “scheduling conflicts,” the rapper bounced just ahead of the tour’s last two official dates, adding fuel to the fire for Jackson fans already miffed by the singer’s illness-related cancellations. 

Indeed, 42-year-old Janet already canceled nine shows earlier this month, after her doctors prescribed not surgery, heavy drugs or less Botox, but “rest.” Reportedly, once all her robot parts are working correctly again, Jackson will make up for her missed performances. 

Although I understand LL must be frustrated with the tour’s troubles, that’s no reason to abandon a pop diva in her hour of need. Justin took the fall when Janet’s boob made a surprise appearance at the Super Bowl, so the least LL could do is pick up the slack while Jackson deals with her “migraine-associated vertigo.” Especially considering 2008’s Exit 13 probably sold five copies total. 

Besides, I’m pretty sure appearing in 1999’s Deep Blue Sea with Will-Smith-wannabe lines that include “You ate my bird!” means you can never turn down another gig in your life. Ever.