Respect Authority

I can’t decide if it’s wrong to say I don’t believe Steve Jobs. But …I just don’t believe Steve Jobs. 

On the one hand, I’d be pretty up in arms if everyone under the sun was documenting my rapid weight loss and deteriorating health on a day-by-day basis, and even moreso if the appearance of that health had a direct correlation on my company’s stock, and therefore my financial well-being. After all, life isn’t The Biggest Loser and for the most part the miniscule changes in one’s physical appearance, including numbers on the scale, aren’t cause for public concern. Unless you’re Oprah. 

But on the other hand, naming a health issue more commonly associated with menopausal women than ailing middle-aged men isn’t doing much for me in the realm of “lies I’m willing to pretend I believe.” We know you had pancreatic cancer Steve, and moreover we’re all pretty sure pancreatic cancer doesn’t just up and disappear. And even if we did believe that, its not exactly reassuring to watch you get thinner than our iPods. 

At this rate, a hormonal imbalance isn’t going to cut it. Just admit it Steve, you’re bulimic.