Respect Authority

If you thought people were clinging to their guns before, you should see them now.

A New York Times article Friday documented a significant increase in gun sales in the wake of Barack Obama’s ascendance to the proverbial American throne. Calling the President-elect a “gun-snatcher,” rednecks and firearm enthusiasts throughout the country are stocking up on their favorite weaponry in preparation for either a crackdown on gun ownership or a heretofore unknown plot to take over the world.

“He wants to take our guns from us and create a socialist society policed by his own police force,” said Jim Pruett, owner of Jim Pruett’s Guns and Ammo in northwest Houston. Mr. Pruett said sales on the Saturday before the election were seven times higher than sales on a typical “good Saturday.”

Indeed, in Colorado, gun buyers set a one-day record. According to the Colorado Bureau of Investigation, Saturday marked the highest-ever number of background check requests in a 24-hour period.

It appears much of America is attached to their ignorance as their Smith & Wesson. Although Obama endorsed a handgun ban in Illinois, and stands behind states and cities’ local determinations on gun control, he has no open plans to circumvent the 2nd Amendment.

Suggesting restrictions on gun ownership, in a time when semi-automatic weapons are disconcertingly prevalent, is not akin to taking away an individual’s right to hunt, or own a weapon in the interest of self defense. Or to walk around the house in boxers, double-fisting matching pistols. You know, if you’re into that sort of thing.  

Comedian and black leprechaun Katt Williams was arrested in Manhattan yesterday on… get this… weapons charges. In case the enormity of that statement isn’t immediately obvious to you, I’d like to just remind you that Katt Williams isn’t exactly the first person you think of when the words “scary people who carry guns on them” are mentioned. And that is because Katt Williams is this man:

Police pulled over the comedian for driving a car without license plates, and then discovered a handgun when searching the vehicle. Personally, this kind of looks like Katt Williams stole a car and it ended up having a gun in it. Wrong fucking car, my friend.

Katt Williams has about as much business owning a gun as Dora the fucking Explorer. For one thing, he’s a comedian… not quite a dangerous career path. This is not like the mainstream hip hop industry where people have to pretend to be criminals, and sometimes actually end up becoming criminals, all for the sake of record sales. What could he possibly need a gun for? Just in case anybody dares to touch his perm?

Granted, he’s insulted plenty of people in his stand up routines, but let’s be honest, what’s the worst DMX or Omarion are going to do? So maybe he arouses the ire of DMX, maybe he makes DMX act a fool. Frankly, I’d be so annoyed by the sound of DMX’s voice in the early stages of any confrontation with the rapper that I’d be begging for him to just shut up already and shoot me. And Omarion might have an icebox where his heart used to be, but if anything, that sounds like a debilitating medical condition that would, in fact, put him at a disadvantage in any fight, more so than it screams “I’m going to kill you.”

Who does Katt Williams possibly have to actually protect himself from? Matthew Lesko got pissed and wanted his wardrobe back? Hm. Well, actually, I guess I’d be pretty scared of him too.

[1010 WINS]

Whenever I get down on myself for watching what many would consider “trashy,” television, I’m reminded that so-called mainstream TV isn’t much better. I caught this little tidbit while watching the tail end of an episode of 60 Minutes this weekend, and for a brief second wondered what it must be like to be old, stupid, and convinced this program is a legitimate source of news or really any valuable information at all.

 Then I read a book.