Respect Authority

In the world of rap, where a criminal history is the closest thing to a job requirement, it takes a unique artist to pull away from the traditional club shootings and drug deals. Cue Lil Wayne: Although the Grammy award winner was busted in 2007 for what might be considered the most predictable of rapper follies—an unregistered gun and the undeniable billowing of marijuana smoke from his tour bus—he broke the mold this week by pleading guilty to second-degree weapons possession and agreeing to spend a year in jail.

The choice was arguably a smart one: had he gone to trial, Wayne was likely to face upwards of three years in prison, depending on whether the court accepted a controversial DNA profiling technique that involves identifying suspects based on something like a dozen human cells. But considering the debate surrounding low copy number DNA profiling, he also had a chance of winning the case altogether—critics say the results of such testing are too problematic to be trusted.

Take note, rappers: There are lessons to be learned here. For one, manage to proceed through an entire court case without acting like a stereotype, and you’ll be given serious accolades in the mainstream press. Every article I’ve read about this mentions Wayne’s somber attitude during the proceeding, and courteous, if not reluctant, plea. As though making rap music precludes one from knowing to say “sir” when speaking to a judge. I mean, the man was wearing a fucking scarf; I think it’s pretty clear intimidation was not on his to-do list. Read More ›

Gov. Sarah Palin (R-AK)

A bipartisan inquiry has concluded that Sarah Palin abused, dominated, and sexually humiliated her gubernatorial powers in the pursuit of a personal vendetta against Alaska state trooper Mike Wooten.

Walt Monegan, Palin’s former public safety commissioner, was dismissed for refusing to participate in the effort to have Trooper Wooten, Palin’s ex brother-in-law, fired.  She unlawfully intimidated and pressured subordinates in the attempt to get them to carry out her demands; additionally the inquiry found that:

Ms. Palin wrongfully allowed her husband, Todd, to use state resources as part of the effort to have Trooper Wooten dismissed.

It’s unlikely the legislature will hold Palin accountable in any substantial way and I doubt this will hurt McCain in the polls.  In fact it may rally more rednecks behind them.

The whole “incident” has “homegrown” “Christian” “values” written all over it.  Palin, as governor, has the right to fire any of her appointees for any reason so she hasn’t done anything illegal, just douchey. Besides, what the East-coast commies wouldn’t understand is that Sarah and Todd were just trying to do right by theirs.  Its not like Wooten, bless his heart, is a good trooper (which entails defending Alsaka from the evil rearing head of Valdamir Putin).  He illegally shot a moose, tasered his stepson, and once drank beer on duty (all of which I mistakenly assumed to be job expectations he did not meet).

For most supporters, Troopergate (ugh) will paint the Palins as normal folk who tried to make a shitty husband pay for torturing a family member with an annoying custody battle and divorce.  For everyone else this is just more anecdotal evidence to something we all already know — if Todd Palin gets to the White House, he’s going to get his wife to start a war with Canada because he’s got a snowmobilin’ feud with some hoser from British Columbia.

[nytimes.com]