Respect Authority

Reading the sordid tale of the caked up lush and her high-flying hijinks we posted earlier gave me some pause. For one thing, I was so cracked out myself that I had forgotten I knew how to read, so that was shocking in its own right. At first, I seriously regretted never doing drugs before boarding an airplane after realizing how easy it actually is and how relatively lax the punishments are. But then I also realized almost immediately afterwards how utterly terrifying most drugs would be while on a plane.

Drugs are interesting in that they can be tons of fun when you’re sitting on your couch next to a comforting bag of Cheetos, but get thrown in the back of a squad car… without any Cheetos… and you’re suddenly in a horrifying nightmare world, traveling at light speed and the puke-stained seat you’re cuffed to is trying to eat your ass. Mix enough marijuana and Benadryl (not necessarily a recommendation) and you’ll feel like you’re on a plane as it is, so I literally shudder at the thought of how quickly this combination would turn you into a frantic, twitching mess on an actual aircraft. It’d be like the time I crapped myself on the flying airplane ride at the local carnival — a very bad experience to say the least.

Now, because Respect Authority is a harm-prevention website (this is actually completely false), I decided it would be helpful to come up with a list of drugs that would go especially well with flying, and the drugs that would be best to avoid unless you particularly enjoy feeling like droves of spider hatchlings are splitting your skull in half for six hours straight.
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