Respect Authority

For residents of a time period so fraught with uncertainty, so overwhelmed by doubt, our causes for concern so looming and concrete, we sure are pretty unconcerned about it. Relatively, of course.

We live in a strange time. Peril is loitering on our front stoop and we’re all pressed against the floor in the TV room, whispering, “It’s just a bunch of Jehovah’s Witnesses… stay quiet and hopefully they won’t know we’re here.” Chronically sheltered, our generation has barely acknowledged, and far too late at that, the coalescence of catastrophes bubbling just below the surface. Where are our flappers, our beatniks, our hippies and our punk rockers? Indeed, where have all the countercultures gone?

Our generation’s great youth movement, the ubiquitous hipster, is in fact not a counterculture, but an extreme excess of all that mainstream culture adores. Hipsters embody the hedonism of the late 90s and early 21st century without any of the guilt of having to go to work the next day. In a sense, it seems they have almost given up, accepting the inevitability of Western civilization as we know it coming to an end, and therefore choosing to get as fucked up as possible in the meantime. Why bother rallying around a cause when there is nothing left to save? Read More ›

This graphic probably doesn’t exactly resonate with people who think humans walked alongside dinosaurs 4,000 years ago, but please, remember to vote, kids. If for no other reason than I don’t feel like being dead in a year. Iran’s largely an arid climate, let’s not make it the next balmy vacationing spot of choice for America’s 18-year-olds. They’re much better off at home turning into future alcoholics at college with all those troublesome intellectual types.