Respect Authority

It seems a tad callous to wish death upon something just because it sucks, but hey, we live in a shallow world and I’d like to preserve my hermetically-sealed bubble of air-conditioned consumerist comfort, if that’s all right with you. So, shallow as it may be, I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of sadistic satisfaction when I read that infamous purveyors of brightly-colored hideousness, Crocs, have a conference call scheduled with the Grim Reaper.

The Washington Post seems to believe Crocs won’t have the longevity of the species’ they’re named after, but more likely the lifespan of something they more closely resemble — rotten Swiss cheese:

The company swung from a profit of $168.2 million in fiscal year 2007 to a loss of $185.1 million last year. In its annual report, Crocs said that an independent auditor expressed concerns about “conditions that raise substantial doubt about our ability to continue.” Its stock price has plummeted 76 percent.

In other words, even when common sense, self-respect, and, uh, a working pair of eyes couldn’t do it, something finally managed to kill the Crocs. Some may be quick to blame it on the recession, although I’d put my remaining few pennies on the shoes themselves causing their own demise. That’s right fellow fashionistas, just like that horrifying cyclops baby, some things are just too ugly to be allowed to live. Read More ›