Respect Authority

*Editor’s note: “Live” can be taken figuratively. Episode started at 9:39 p.m. Delay can be credited to indecision between Chinese, Mexican and pizza. Decision: Mexican.

9:31 p.m. Jeff  Daniels is on the show. He has to be at least 35, but actually says “boner kill” in the first ten seconds.

9:45 p.m. Pocahontas.

9:52 p.m. VH1, having learned after the umpteenth manifestation of the “of love” series to maximize ridiculousness from the get-go, conducts the “naming ceremony” after the contestants have been drinking for at least an hour. Hilarity. Imagine a Fall Out Boy frat party.

9:54 p.m. Jeff Daniels says his name is Paulie, and reveals he’s from - shocker - the Jersey shore. Daisy likens him to a hatless Bret Michaels. I’m not sure who that’s insulting to.

9:56 p.m. There’s a male stripper - at least VH1 is equal-opportunity. He is appropriately nicknamed “Toolbox” and I’m not sure Daisy gets it.

9:58 p.m. “Cage” laments that his tattoo is always the first thing people notice about him. His tattoo is 2-inch letters spelling out “Fight or Die” on his NECK.

10:05 p.m. Daisy says “Swahili-ish.”

10:13 p.m. I remain unconvinced the Swedish triplets aren’t women. Daisy might agree, as she kicks them off almost immediately.

10:18 p.m. I see a preview for “Charm School with Ricki Lake.” I realize VH1 will literally never run out of material.

10:21 p.m. The slogan is revealed: ” ____, would you stay in this house and be my rock star?” Fairly lacking in innovation.

10:26 p.m. Jeff Daniels barely gets through elimination. I’m baffled.

10:28 p.m. Winners toast to Daisy out of flasks. Class all the way.