Respect Authority

America’s Best Dance Crew 3 premiered last Thursday, and at this point MTV has already replayed it so many times that if you even thought about TV in the past four days you’ve probably seen it. I will concede that it is my one vice — aside from “chasing the dragon” from time to time and, of course, Cee-lo — and it sure is a doozy. ABDC3 is, largely, insane. Fuck, even just look at that acronym.

The rules of the contest are easily more complicated than any of the dance moves, and, in fact, after dedicating myself to two seasons already, I still don’t really understand how a given crew eventually wins. My enjoyment of this tacky diversion, presented by Randy “Dawg” Jackson and hosted by the infuriatingly closeted Mario Lopez, relies heavily on the sheer spectacle of it all.

The crews clearly spend more time picking their outfits each week than actually dancing, and one of the judges is a perpetually high Lil’ Mama, who I’m fairly certain is actually the stupidest person to have ever lived, except for possibly everyone else on the show. Nonetheless, the dancing is often quite impressive and like, whatever, so what if I look forward to it every week and might even have a poster of Randy Jackson hanging above my bed. I don’t have to defend myself to you. Read More ›