Respect Authority

Feeling frustrated by your inability to violently rape somebody without necessarily becoming a complete fucking sociopath who deserves to get dragged behind a car for hundreds of miles of road paved with shit and human teeth? Fortunately, that zany Japanese culture with all its beautiful idiosyncrasies, like Hello Kitty contact lenses and motorized blow job machines, has done it yet again with a computer game that allows players to gang bang women and then force them to get an abortion. Apparently it’s hilarious.

Unfortunately, the game, creatively titled RapeLay, has been pulled from Amazon Marketplace after being deemed inappropriate by some puritan no doubt. And once again it is available only to those lucky Japanese creepsters who actually think this sounds like a fun way to spend an afternoon. Too bad too, I was really looking forward to its production company’s other tantalizing diversion, “Battle Raper.” Wonder what the premise of that one is.

A spokesperson for the company offered this ironclad defense of the product, saying “We believe there is no problem with the software, which has cleared the domestic ratings of an ethics watchdog body.” The only real response to this I can muster is a near constant shaking of my head, indeed, shaking like a Tamagotchi.

More importantly, where the fuck did you find this so-called ethics watchdog body? The darkest bowels of Hell? Regardless of whether or not the game should be sold, at the very least, believing that simulating rape is in fact ethical has got to be proof of long term radiation poisoning on the entire island of Japan. So there you have it, RapeLay is but one more solid argument for total nuclear disarmament. Seems some good has come out of it after all.

All you disappointed shoppers who had this one mysteriously left over on your Amazon wish list after this Christmas will sadly have to make the trek to Godzilla’s home town, where the evil, flashing neon, school-girl-obsessed volcano that originally spawned the game is located. And why not — I’m pretty sure actually raping somebody is legal there too.