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Posts Filed Under Sign Language

I Actually Pulled Over

Filed Under: Dumb or Dumber, Sign Language

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This is the kind of stellar branding that goes on in suburban Pennsylvania.

 
kira

11:13 PM on December 2nd, 2009 | 

Posted by kira

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Choice is Yours

Filed Under: Sign Language

Herbalife ad

This seems like a pretty reputable offer. I mean… why not give it a try? You win either way.

 
aaron

11:56 AM on October 26th, 2009 | 

Posted by aaron

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Up In Smoke

Filed Under: Pop Culture, Sign Language

It’s interesting that even after all those uptight health officials put an end to inspiring (but mostly misleading) cigarette advertisements like the ones below, a sizable portion of young people still think smoking is a cool thing to do. Unfortunately, what the Surgeon General will never truly understand is that the deliciously poisonous nature of cigarettes that makes them such a modern scourge in the first place is the very basis of their cool factor. When you’re young and have plenty of life in front of you, or, conversely, have little to no “life” at all, coming up with fun ways to kill yourself seems like pretty much the bee’s knees. Just ask James Dean about it sometime, he started it.

Personally, I’m in favor of loosening up cigarette advertising restrictions just so we can have some extra entertainment piled on the night stand next to our death beds. Actually, Is it even possible to laugh when you have an iron lung?

Benson & Hedges 100s Vintage Advertisement

In a time when “pointlessly weird” is nearly synonymous with advertising in general, this vintage Benson & Hedges ad could nonetheless easily give The Burger King himself not lung cancer, but fucking brain cancer if he dared to try wrapping his mind around this strange artifact from marketing’s deranged past. The longer you look at it, the more hopelessly lost in its senselessness you fall — it’s like the quick sand of soft sells.

Is the sentient cosmic sea cucumber trying in vain to burn a hole through the astronaut’s helmet with his cigarette? Are we to assume Benson & Hedges smokes are so good that they can actually burn in an oxygen-deprived environment? Not to mention… is the alien an American citizen? What does his enjoyment of a smooth, flavorful cigarette on the desolate craters of the moon have to do with them being America’s favorite brand anyway? Is it simply that their sweet plumes of toxins are so irresistible, even vastly advanced space-faring civilizations that should surely know better just can’t say no? Or maybe sentient cosmic sea cucumbers just want to be cool too — and who are we to begrudge them that?

Seriously though… somebody actually thought this would help sell cigarettes. That’s probably the single craziest thing about it. Fortunately, it wasn’t long before Big Tobacco learned to better apply the sciences to peddle their deadly wares. Read More ›

 
aaron

4:16 PM on July 28th, 2009 | 

Posted by aaron

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Best Mind Your Manners

Filed Under: Sign Language

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kira

1:48 PM on December 30th, 2008 | 

Posted by kira

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Grandmas just wanna have fun

Filed Under: Pop Culture, Sign Language

oldlesbiansUnder the slogan “Because there is no expiration date on a full, active life,” Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders (SAGE) is launching a $350,000 ad campaign featuring, you guessed it, GLBT elders. The ads, which will be used on subway metro cards, in print ads, in phone kiosks and on bus shelters, are designed to give a voice to the greatly underserved segment of society, and to help eliminate the stigma that the elder gay population isn’t just as down for a good time as their younger counterparts.

The ads, which you can see here, are evenly divided in terms of age, sexuality and overall creepiness. It’s not that I have any issue whatsoever with middle-aged or older people being gay or transgendered, it’s more that I have an issue with knowing about the sex lives of anyone I’m not actively having sex with — and a more specific issue with knowing about the sex life of anyone old enough to be my parent (that I’m not actively having sex with).

Listen old lesbians, although I find photos of you just as endearing as the next person, I once again object to the perception that anyone cares what people do after they hit age 50. And personally, I consider adult diapers a pretty fair indicator that someone’s full and active life has indeed expired.

 
kira

4:30 PM on October 14th, 2008 | 

Posted by kira

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Last Year 1,944 New Yorkers Overreacted

Filed Under: New York, Sign Language

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I can’t pretend to know how counter-terrorism on a municipal level works. I imagine that it has something to do with randomly checking bags in random stations and treating city employees like dirty airline flyers. So I assume that when the MTA and NYPD thank paranoid riders, they have 1,944 foiled terror plots to thank them for. Or several hundred conspiracy arrests. Maybe at least a couple terror-related conspiracy charges. Actually I can’t find any arrests that have anything to do with a suspicious Arab guy, or backpack, in the subway.

You’re doing it wrong, NYPD. Remember —

Crime Fighting:
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Not Crime Fighting:

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lou

3:55 PM on October 13th, 2008 | 

Posted by lou

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Tasteless Award of the Week goes to: PETA

Filed Under: Sign Language

gotautism

….For unapologetically playing the autism card. This ad is doubly ineffective: First, PETA credits two European studies for outlining a link between autism and milk consumption, and everyone knows European science is notoriously asinine (see Fat Men Have Bad Sperm). Second, nothing, not even autism, could make me give up cream cheese. 

Sorry, PETA. Better luck with your “Got Multiple Sclerosis?” campaign. 

 
kira

12:08 AM on October 1st, 2008 | 

Posted by kira

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