Respect Authority

“I’ve had a lot of fun with women, and I’m not ashamed of it. The problem is that I also love a well-endowed man. But just because I enjoy women doesn’t mean I’m allowed to have affairs in my relationship. I learned through talking with my therapist that it is still cheating even if it’s with girls, so there’s a rule there.”

-Fergie, on her husband’s alleged affair with a stripper

“Thinking about how many people I want to kill today, including myself….I hate these people. I want to kick the shit out of them. They’re idiots. …They revere me as God. Even though I hate them, they still love me….I can’t wait until it rains again so I can splash more people.”

-Facebook posts from NYC bus driver Jeremy Philhower, who hit and killed a college student last week

“These universities are saying, ‘Our policy is nondiscrimination, so we’re not going to adopt a technology we know for sure discriminates against blind students.’”

-A National Federation for the Blind spokesman on schools that have stopped buying Amazon Kindles because they cannot be used by blind students

Washington responsibilities “were incompatible with running a full-fledged, full-throated Weiner-style campaign.”

-New York Rep. Anthony Weiner, on why he dropped out of the NYC mayor’s race