Respect Authority

I hate to do one obesity-related post so soon after another — seriously, I do think about other things, like drugs and sex and such — but this weekend’s New York Times Magazine was “the food issue,” and so I’ve just spent the better part of a morning/mid-afternoon reading one article after another on what works and what doesn’t when it comes to regulating our food intake, or asking professional scientists to regulate it for us. All in all, I discovered little by way of new information: It would seem that consuming fewer calories than we burn continues to be the most successful method of losing weight. Shocker.

But one good thing did come of those 25,000+ words. This. The “Double Down” sandwich from KFC, currently being tested in Rhode Island and Nebraska, ostensibly because neither state is known for being particularly obese, or known, period. (If a tree falls in Nebraska, and so on).

This newest “sandwich” from KFC, which isn’t featured anywhere on the chain’s actual Web site (for obvious public-relations-nightmare-waiting-to-happen reasons), is bacon and cheese and sauce slapped between not bread, or meat-infused-bread, but rather bread-infused meat — i.e. two breaded chicken patties. I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.

I really wish this was a hoax. Video here. Also, here’s a poor-quality commercial, (with the much-needed explanation: “We just didn’t have room for a bun”).

KFC has quite obviously taken a page out of the SNL book. Check it out:

P.S. After the fact, Aaron and I thought perhaps RA should contribute its own list of potential fat-food combinations. Consider these motherfuckers copyrighted. I’m talking to you, Popeyes.

1. Turducken Taco, with fire sauce

2. Bacon Double Jamaican Meat Patty

3. Pizza-Stuffed Pizza (Also available: Stuffed Crust Pizza-Stuffed Pizza)

4. Bagel-Dog Enchiladas with Nacho Cheese and Chili

5. Deep-Fried Sloppy Joes

I knew this day would come. With all the mud slinging that goes on in the world of politics, the nation’s obsession with obesity, and the undeniable stigma of being a fat anything these days—doctor, teacher, waiter—it was only a matter of time between two worlds collided in a big explosion of rhetoric and cholesterol.

The New York Times came out with a story today on the utterly boring but I guess somewhat relevant governor’s race in New Jersey. Incumbent John Corzine, in a new television ad, less-than-discreetly alludes to his adversary’s, well, weight. In the ad, gubernatorial hopeful Christopher Christie (by the by, what kind of fucking name is this?) steps out of an SUV in slow motion, “his extra girth moving … in several different directions at once,” as the Times so eloquently puts it. The narrator, meanwhile, says Christie “threw his weight around” to avoid traffic tickets.

This isn’t the first time Corzine’s commercials have, let us say, highlighted Christie’s weight, though the governor denies it (after having watched the ad, I too think Christie’s camp, or at least the Times, is overreacting). But it may very well be the latest in what I would consider an impending paradigm shift—weight, once a completely off-limits subject for any public figure outside the realm of entertainment celebrity, is becoming a sticking point. When Regina Benjamin was nominated for surgeon general, people were quick to question whether she was “too fat” for the job.

This isn’t to say that I haven’t been critical of obesity time and time again on this site — but I don’t think someone’s judgment when it comes to cheeseburgers is related to their judgment on public policy. Shit, if love of cheeseburgers and holding informed political opinions were mutually exclusive, I’d have a damn hard time choosing between the two. Especially if the cheeseburgers were from McDonald’s.

Moreover, were I running for any public office in the great state of New Jersey, I would avoid making critical comments, however subtle, on the basis of my opponent’s appearance. Especially if I looked just like John Hammond from Jurassic Park.

[NY Times]

You can say “the more things change, the more they stay the same” all you want, but the reality is… some things just change.

Then:

Now:

I can only hope Saturday Night Live is paying Andy Samberg enough to, you know, continue rescuing them from comedic oblivion.

Politicians and public figures could learn a thing or two from David Letterman.

The Late Show host had a rather interesting monologue last night: Apparently a CBS News employee attempted to blackmail Letterman for $2 million by threatening to expose his sexual dalliance with CBS employees. Letterman, ever-resourceful, met with his extortionist a few times, forked over a faux check, and then proceeded to tell the entire story on air less than 12 hours after the guy was arrested. Genius.

Naturally, the so-called “scandal” made headlines Friday, but let’s look at the facts here: David Letterman is an adult (I’m being kind; senior citizen sounds mean), and despite being a public figure, has no moral obligation bestowed upon him by his job. If anything, one might expect the host of a snark-filled late-night entertainment show to be among the least moral television personalities, even if he is 132 years old. Moreover, Letterman didn’t molest anyone; he didn’t rape staffers or bribe 17-year-old interns. He apparently had consensual sex with more than one woman employed by his network. To which I say kudos Dave; a Viagra commercial is in your future.

Considering how willingly the vast majority of people accept the reality of sex, which is, simply, that adults have it, and often, it continues to baffle me how scandalized the country feels when it’s revealed that an adult in the public eye has given in to carnal pleasures. Politicians are one thing, particularly politicians having affairs, though even in those situations I find it a reach to equate someone’s marital fidelity to their ability to hold office. But entertainers? Musicians? David Duchovny? I mean really, who gives a fuck.

I have to give Letterman credit, not just for bedding what were probably younger women (the alternative is too frightening a visual), but for the way he handled the aftermath. He didn’t run away with his tail between his legs, or let the news surface and then deny until he was blue in the face. Nor did he take the completely justified but ultimately unsatisfying stance that none of it is anyone’s business. He addressed the issue directly, immediately, and with no shortage of humor.  If I ever have consensual sex with a geriatric comedian, I can only hope they handle the situation with similar aplomb.

Matches made in Hell.

History has a long record of ill-advised combinations: highlighter pens (seriously, the highlighter always dries out first), Nickelodeon’s Cat Dog; Jon and Kate and any sort of televised event. But never has a collaboration offended me like the “vook,” a Simon & Schuster creation designed to destroy intelligence and literacy worldwide.

“Vooks” are video-books, or e-books with videos interspersed throughout, which can be read (and viewed) online. Or an iPhone, since I’m pretty sure iPhones do everything short of microwaving food these days. Though S&S is the first publisher to tout its vooks publicly, the idea is spreading—several imprints have announced plans to incorporate video into readers’ experience, either through electronic devices or on the Internet.

What. the. fuck. Listen, I’ve accepted the Kindle. I’m not a fan per se; the purist ink-loving tree destroyer in me wants to read paper books until the day I keel over with one in my hands. But I’m willing to accept that the Kindle might have an iPod-like effect on the nation’s potential readers: ubiquity. As in, maybe if we distract them with gadgetry, thousands of Americans, otherwise glued to syndicated reruns of Jerry Springer, might pick up an actual (or virtual) book.

But my acceptance was contingent on that - the book part. The reading part. Not mixing in video, thereby eliminating the one place we still take in and process words without the help of any sort of imagery.  Not perpetuating the notion that there’s no harm in losing the ability to focus on one thing for a sustained period of time. Not sacrificing essential cognitive tools for the purposes of flash.

Seriously, I hope we do invent robots that surpass us in intelligence, destroy us, and rule the world.

[NY Times]

Every once and a while something comes along that’s so creative, so out-of-the-box, yet so incredibly obvious that it makes you feel like a real worthless piece of shit for not thinking of it first. Sorry kids, but I’m afraid that’s just what it feels like to appreciate art.

I’d like to introduce you to Liu Bolin — an insane man and visionary who is currently freaking me out. By now, we’ve all seen plenty of photographers goofing around with long shutters to produce what looks like shots of “ghosts.” And at a first glance, that’s almost what the photographs of Liu Bolin’s art look like. But like his art, it’ll take more than a quick glance to truly appreciate the effort and thought that went into each piece. I mean, my god, Liu Bolin could sneak up on a real fucking ghost.

The man is as much a master of disguise and camouflage as he is an artist. There’s no trick photography or digital editing going on here; in fact, his craft is both simpler and infinitely more complicated than that. Bolin literally paints himself to look exactly like the scene he is in. That’s “all” there is to it. Painstaking, remarkable, vaguely creepy.

If you were a sucker for Magic Eyes back in the day, more retinal delights await beyond the jump. Read More ›