Respect Authority

Politicians and public figures could learn a thing or two from David Letterman.

The Late Show host had a rather interesting monologue last night: Apparently a CBS News employee attempted to blackmail Letterman for $2 million by threatening to expose his sexual dalliance with CBS employees. Letterman, ever-resourceful, met with his extortionist a few times, forked over a faux check, and then proceeded to tell the entire story on air less than 12 hours after the guy was arrested. Genius.

Naturally, the so-called “scandal” made headlines Friday, but let’s look at the facts here: David Letterman is an adult (I’m being kind; senior citizen sounds mean), and despite being a public figure, has no moral obligation bestowed upon him by his job. If anything, one might expect the host of a snark-filled late-night entertainment show to be among the least moral television personalities, even if he is 132 years old. Moreover, Letterman didn’t molest anyone; he didn’t rape staffers or bribe 17-year-old interns. He apparently had consensual sex with more than one woman employed by his network. To which I say kudos Dave; a Viagra commercial is in your future.

Considering how willingly the vast majority of people accept the reality of sex, which is, simply, that adults have it, and often, it continues to baffle me how scandalized the country feels when it’s revealed that an adult in the public eye has given in to carnal pleasures. Politicians are one thing, particularly politicians having affairs, though even in those situations I find it a reach to equate someone’s marital fidelity to their ability to hold office. But entertainers? Musicians? David Duchovny? I mean really, who gives a fuck.

I have to give Letterman credit, not just for bedding what were probably younger women (the alternative is too frightening a visual), but for the way he handled the aftermath. He didn’t run away with his tail between his legs, or let the news surface and then deny until he was blue in the face. Nor did he take the completely justified but ultimately unsatisfying stance that none of it is anyone’s business. He addressed the issue directly, immediately, and with no shortage of humor.  If I ever have consensual sex with a geriatric comedian, I can only hope they handle the situation with similar aplomb.