Respect Authority

This is a list I found written haphazardly into a “Memo” on my Blackberry. Chances I was high when I wrote it? A million percent.

THINGS REALITY TELEVISION HAS TAUGHT ME WILL NEVER HAPPEN:

1. Diddy will make a successful band.
2. Bret Michaels will find love.
3. Tila Tequila will decide between boys and girls.
4. The Real World will find something socially unacceptable enough to cause 1990’s-level drama in the 21st century.
5. People with more than five children will live happily ever after.
6. Obese people will lose weight without participating in televised weight-loss competitions.
7. Heidi and Spencer will disappear.
8. There will be something that no one is willing to do on TV.