Respect Authority

"I'm serious Todd, I'm out. I can't do this. Do you know I haven't been hunting in three weeks? Three weeks! I haven't wanted to shoot something this bad since McCain wet his Depends."

My first thought after reading about Sarah Palin’s resignation was that this all just seems a bit too easy. It’s not that Obama doesn’t have his fair share of critics, or that there aren’t plenty of crazies out there just waiting to get their hands on a shotgun and clear line of sight. But with the Republican party undergoing this domino effect of leadership failure, it feels like the future of America is being handed to Democrats on a silver platter; like liberal thinkers are rebuilding the country while a series of GOP lemmings follow one another off a cliff.

So either we should be thanking our lucky stars and stripes or making sure our fallout shelters are well-stocked; if this is all part of some massive underground neo-conservative plan to take the country by storm, then color me distracted (and optimistic) enough to not see it coming. For now I’ll just consider Palin’s July 26 departure date a fairly awesome birthday present to me.

Though Palin’s resignation—and the sad fact that geriatric John McCain withstood more political firebombing than the gun-toting Alaska native—is surely a blow to the country’s leadership-less conservatives, worry not Dems: there was some scandal in your neck of the woods too this July 4. Former Washington D.C. mayor Marion Barry was arrested this weekend and charged with stalking a female acquaintance.

Now, Barry is the same former mayor who during his third term was captured on film smoking crack in a hotel room. But in a fate I suspect Sarah Palin won’t share, Barry, who is also currently on probation in a federal tax evasion case, was reelected four years after the whole “That’s not my crack!” thing. Here’s the key GOP: Don’t campaign on family values, and no one will blame you if you don’t have them.