Respect Authority

Despite the fact that the company just leveraged its brand new headquarters to raise capital, the New York Times Co., parent of the eponymous newspaper, is still finding time to taunt us with an attention to detail that implies real to-the-bone layoffs have yet to truly affect the Grey Lady. 

Indeed, this week the NYT posted on its Web site an article titled “Speak, O Muse, of Fallen 401(k)s and Malignant Mortgages,” a compilation of reader-submitted poems about the economic downturn. No, I’m not kidding. Shockingly, and perhaps a testament to the fact that no one reads the Times for its poetry beat, only about 100 readers responded. Here are some choice excerpts, which vary from the smug to downright bitter: 

Those of us who’ve lost it all, 
Thought not about the cost at all.
Those of us who are content,
Gave thought to every single cent.
John Duvall, Hastings-on-Hudson, NY

(Apparently not part of any company-designated and uncontrollable 401(k) plan that invested in now-deteriorating mutual funds, thus costing said plan holder hundreds of thousands of dollars in retirement money through no fault of their own).

Awake too late
It took 20 years to
Recognize
I inhabit a den of thieves
There is no DNA
For fiscal rape
Hence they shall escape.
They stole my graying years.
Paul M. Stafford, Pasadena, Calif.

Fiscal rape = best recession-related terminology created to date.  

And my personal favorite (simple, to the point):

OK
401K
40.1K
4.01K
0.401K
0.0401k
NOT OK
Gerald Duffy, Portsmouth, N.H. 

Naturally, I have taken these poems as inspiration to write my own recession-related verse. Here goes: 

Things I took away from this recession;

Financial lesson after financial lesson:

Save, don’t spend; work, don’t stop

Ignore the news by smoking pot
Kira Bindrim, Brookly, NY