Respect Authority

This has got to be easily more effective than any abstinence only program. For his sake, I sure hope the force is strong with this one when he gets to high school. The jocks are going to be chopping his ass in half like Obi-Wan Kenobi before he even makes it past the parking lot, to say nothing of all the inevitable “Who’s your daddy?” jokes. Dude’s going to wish he could run away to Degobah (nerd joke).

Some people just aren’t meant to be parents, really. After all, that’s why our society tries so hard to keep Star Wars fans from having sex as it is.