Respect Authority

Even though Comedy Central still has long lost Chocolate News listed on their website, after weeks of absence on TV, I’m ready to accept that it actually may not be coming back — that, perhaps, David Alan Grier has escaped to Africa or had a nervous breakdown, whatever it was that got that poor Chappelle guy.

So, without any official word from the network itself, where is a mourning fan supposed to turn for the truth? Obviously, Wikipedia — it’s the Internet’s brain! Whereas Respect Authority is more like the Internet’s festering, irritated boil.

Naturally then, it came as some surprise to find RA’s sarcastic coverage of Chocolate News from a few months ago listed as a reference in Wikipedia’s stub for the show. You know, considering the article was entirely made up, even if it did happen to be incredibly prophetic. We’re like the Aeneid but, uh, for pointless, minuscule facets of pop culture that kind of not that many people care about.

Nonetheless, it scares me to think that somebody read that article — dated October 6th while the show wasn’t canceled until January, and which includes a “quote” from DAG, saying “I plan on returning to my roots as a street performer who dances for unfiltered candy cigarettes and voluntarily licks anything put within seven feet of what I like to call my ‘face area.’ Thank you for your time. Are you gonna eat that?” — somebody read it and assumed it was real news about Chocolate News. And now it’s on Wikipedia, modern society’s only trustworthy source of unadulterated, true information.

Granted, I know we have this kind of mysterious, hard-to-read (it’s a double entendre!) aura about us, but come on. You came to the most sarcastic website on the entire World Wide Web and actually thought we were serious? I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’ve been serious in like, a month. And to be honest, I feel a little bad about it, like I lied to Wikipedia, and it’s been such a good friend to me when I’m at work and have nothing to do but read about the origin of Unicorns throughout history. So, sorry, Wikipedia… I hope this doesn’t jeopardize our relationship, but instead, marks a new, spectacular frontier for us, when we can lie to you a lot more often and still totally get away with it.

Welcome to the revolution. First Wikipedia, next… I don’t know, Urban Dictionary or something.