Respect Authority

About a month ago, I dutifully shared with you dear readers the ongoing melodrama of one of my Facebook friends, who since our initial joining has completely slipped from my mind as a person of note. Ostensibly someone I knew in middle school, the girl I affectionately dubbed Sally has since become little more than a source of online amusement, a reality fueled by a series of public disclosures and rants about her imminent nuptials, and her fiancée’s awful family. If you missed the boat on that one, here’s your refresher.

Since then, and in my next stop on Pathetic Road, I’ve been actively checking up on Sally, looking for new developments on the wedding front. Outside of the obvious choosing of centerpieces and airing of dress-size grievances, little seemed to be happening — and so my vigilance had fallen off. In fact, Sally’s Nov. 8 status update — “…is deleting people from Facebook” — had me fairly convinced that her culling of unnecessary friends would spell the imminent end of our online acquaintance, to be expected considering our relationship is defined entirely by my investigating her personal life. Surprisingly though, I made the cut.

So I am kicking myself today to see that Sally appears to have dropped or hidden the very Facebook notes that spawned my first RA post, perhaps in a fit of anger or, less likely, due to an epiphany about the idiocy of putting one’s entire private life online. Without the poorly written diatribes on being the victim of ungrateful and potentially racist in-laws, Sally has taken to using status updates as a forum for complaint. Here are some choice statuses (statii?) from the last month:

Dec. 29: Sally is making a poll…which place would you more than likely buy me a wedding gift from: Walmart, Target, JCPenny or none of the above?

Jan. 7: Sally is who doesn’t change their Hawaiian vacation plans to attend their son’s wedding…my in laws! How horrible is that?!?!

Jan. 8: Sally doesn’t like to hear her fiance [sic] cry …his parents are truly evil.

Jan. 9: Sally is moms/dad out there…did this chart work for you?
http://pregnancy.about.com/od/boyorgirl/l/blchinesegenderchart.htm

It seems little has changed except Sally’s allotment of time to spelling out the same problems to the same friends, including one incredibly effeminate looking guy with shoulder-length hair and black-painted fingernails, who comments on Sally’s wall so often I’m wondering whether he’s perhaps a little too into the wedding’s progression. I also wonder how fiancee “Fred” feels about having his crybaby antics splattered all over one of the world’s most popular social networking sites. Thankfully I find it hard to believe he has any friends to tease him about it.

And as a follow-up to the last bit, Sally is not pregnant, but is already planning her future (near future) children and wants to have a girl because all her friends have boys and she needs “someone to date them!” Yet again, I wonder why we allow everyone in the country to reproduce.