Respect Authority

What race am I? You don't know! No one knows!

Like anyone who’s read the data reports from the 2000 census for fun, I’ve been annoying all of my loved ones with the pop-scientific version of this article for the longest time.  

In case you weren’t aware, immigration rates and interracial marriage will radically transform ethnic and cultural identity in America 25 years from now — rendering race relations utterly unidentifiable by today’s standards, by mid-century.

Articulately, Hua Hsu imagines what white culture will be like when whites, the majority race who’s majority is ever-narrowing, can claim the majority with as much legitimacy as Bush in 2000. They’re both kinda the winner but they still lost the popular vote — think Asians from Rockaway wearing Abercrombie and Fitch.

It’s important to think about, and fittingly the article is really thought-out. Basically, it wonders out loud if whiteness — as the skeuomorph that defines the culture of the American majority — will survive the decline of the WASP American and the diversification of affluence. And, I agree with Hua — I think there’s room in the future for the white stereotype of a NASCAR-loving Larry the Cable Guy fan and the white stereotype that makes black Frasier funny.

In any event, by 2015, 30 Rock will stop winning awards because the Hollywood Foreign Press, et. al. will finally realize racial irony is lazy comedy. A realization that will be a symptom of an America to come; full of strange inevitable things like Millennials birthing beige children and Barack Obama’s last year in office. It’s like accurately forecasting the perfect storm bound to devastate Tina Fey — you can’t imagine it actually happening but you know its going to.

Racial equilibrium is coming. While it isn’t quite harmony, there will still be a hint of progress in the unification of the Rock and Flavors of Love into simply, Strippers Competing To Win The Chance To Date A Moderately Wealthy Musician Popular 30 Years Ago… Of Love.

[The Atlantic]

P.S. Kira has watched an entire season of a celebrity dating show hosted by two contestants who lost a celebrity dating show hosted by a woman who lost two consecutive seasons of a celebrity dating show hosted by Flavor Flav, who was, of course, famously dumped by Brigitte Nielsen — a member of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew’s first-season cast. Less like a vicious circle and more like a death spiral I think.