Respect Authority

Excessive cheeseburger consumption and social isolation have always gone hand in hand, so it’s no surprise really that Burger King’s “Whopper Sacrifice” campaign, which offered Facebook users a free Whopper for every 10 people they de-friended on the site, was wildly successful. So successful that it drew the ire of Facebook itself, which forced the burger chain to discontinue the promotion — but not before it could end over 230,000 friendships.

Though some of Burger King’s analysts – you know, adults that cover the company for financial instead of pop culture reasons – seem to think the company has jumped the shark in its effort to thwart recession-related declines in unnecessary spending, I am of the opinion that the BK can do no wrong. With a plethora of fast-food options available to me—and with no real allegiance to any of them save the occasional McDonald’s cheeseburger or Wendy’s Frosty craving, Burger King executives seem to know how to make their brand stand out.

The King, weird as he may be, was only the beginning. Last year, after the viral success of the Whopper Freakout, BK launched Whopper Virgins, a new play on the original taste-test model perpetuated by Pepsi and Coca-Cola. Outside of the fact that my hunger may or may not at times be influenced by illegal substances, I have to say seeing people experience their first Whopper really and truly makes me want nothing more than a big juicy cheeseburger.

And now, after the perhaps less admirable launch of “Flame,” a burger-scented cologne that I hope was more BK gimmick than anything else (Dunkin Donuts at one point had a similar series of donut-scented perfumes), the eatery this month started Angry Whopper, which lets you send a personalized “Angry-Gram” message (a virtual yelling cheeseburger) to friends, enemies, or anyone who’s made the mistake of giving you their e-mail address. Although Angry Whopper doesn’t make me particularly hungry — in fact, I suspect it would make me feel kind of weird about eating an actual non-talking Whopper — it’s still uniquely Burger King. And, true to form, the tech-savvy promotion makes me think BK knows I’m a little smarter than a five-note jingle and “I’m lovin’ it.” 

So keep it up, Burger King. Ever since Supersize Me made everyone feel like obese white trash for liking the occasional two-cheeseburger combo meal, I’ve been looking for a way to enjoy fast food again. Thanks for giving it to me.