Respect Authority

Just the other night I was thinking to myself that the country’s almost cult-like obsession with Barack Obama is a tad too creepy to be considered mere patriotism. This morning, my fears were affirmed. 

Ty, the company behind the Beanie Babie phenomenon, has two new dolls: “Sweet Sasha” and “Marvelous Malia.” A Ty spokeswomans claims the “bronze-skinned dolls” aren’t modeled after the country’s newest First Children, but it’s a rather difficult coincidence to swallow.

Which isn’t to say there haven’t been dolls modeled after past political figures - in fact, I’m pretty sure there are still a few choice George W. dolls floating around in the ether. But those are the kind of gag products that fart when you squeeze them, or mumble “misunderestimated” when you pull a string in the back. Creating two completely unneccessary stuffed children that eerily resemble the president’s daughters - well that’s unquestionably absurd. 

My only suggestion to Ty - short of making sure their lawyers are close at hand - is to go the Beanie Baby route again, and create mini-incarnations of the entire White House entourage, First Family, vice president and cabinet included. I’d pay good money for a miniature Hillary Clinton doll, pantsuit sold separately.