Respect Authority

Whether you were most moved by Heath Ledger’s death, the Myanmar Cyclone, or Miley Cyrus’ breakup this year, or if you were perhaps literally moved after your life savings disappeared and your house was foreclosed upon, there is no doubt that 2008 was a banner year for disasters. Good thing, too, otherwise karma might not have rewarded us with that nice black man who will be occupying the Oval Office in a few weeks. Nonetheless, this will surely be a year that we will not soon forget… despite how much we might all want to.

Economic Catastrophe
That whole subprime lending crisis and subsequent economic holocaust sure was a riot, wasn’t it? And the funniest part about it? It’s only going to get worse! LOLz up in here, my friends, LOLz. Ahh, I kill me. No… seriously, I might have to kill myself over this. — aaron

The Excessively Wealthy
Ever since the vast majority of Americans started needing Kleenex just to read their 401(k) statements, the mainstream media has cast a critical and accusing eye at those in this country, however dwindling their ranks are, still rolling in dough. ‘Merka still has its fair share of multi-millionaires - and nowadays it’s totally okay to hate their guts. $100,000 shopping sprees? Seven beach houses? Corporate jets? Burn in hell you heartless motherfuckers. The best part is that these people have always existed, they always will, and in some sick way, they have to. We need them to hate …and to continually provide casting options for The Real Housewives of Orange County. — kira

Hillary Clinton’s Campaign
One of the two great train wrecks of 2008 was the first loss to some black Muslim extremist trying to jihad his way into the Black House. Secretary of State-appointee Hillary Clinton’s crying, backstabbing, massive debt, and subtle racism made for the most interesting primary election maybe ever. My favorite part had to be that week or two after she had mathematically lost the race and refused to concede in case someone assassinated Obama. As always, Clintons = Classy. — lou