Respect Authority

I know we’ve all been distracted by things like Detroit, or multi-billion dollar investor scams, but while no one was looking, Boy George was totally convicted of falsely imprisoning a male escort – and considering the Karma Chameleon’s underwhelming public service stint two years ago was plastered on front pages everywhere, I’m pretty shocked his abuse of an actual sex slave has failed to make waves.

In case you read legit news and managed to miss this story, Norwegian escort Audun Carlsen alleged that he was handcuffed to a wall hook at Boy George’s east London apartment in April. Though he was held for less than an hour, apparently BG swung a metal chain at Carlsen when he got loose – after which our audacious sex slave fled the apartment.

But the best part? Boy George says the only reason he restrained Carlsen with handcuffs was to figure out if he had tampered with a computer, ostensibly to remove photos of himself taken by the singer. Let’s repeat that – he handcuffed a man to the wall for trying to delete nude photos of himself that Boy George may or may not have even had permission to take in the first place. This comes less than two years after BG was convicted of cocaine posession after detectives found the drug in his apartment while responding to a burglary report - which he filed. Clearly Boy George has a complex about personal theft. And who wouldn’t, with such a valuable collection of hats?