Respect Authority

Watch out George W., there’s a new decider in town. 

Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson said Wednesday that the U.S. government would no longer be buying out beleaguered banks’ troubled assets as part of its $700 billion bailout, effectively destroying the bailout’s initial purpose, as well as the reason Congress gave it the go-ahead in the first place. What’s that you say? How can he do that? Well, like any smart moneyman, Paulson made sure to give himself absolute power on the bailout’s fund allocation. This essentially means that if you have a problem with the way he chooses to pass out his dolla’ dolla’ bills, you can pretty much go fuck yourself.

So why the switcheroo? In a press conference, Paulson said the initial plan would have taken too much time, and that it makes more sense for the Treasury to buy stakes in distressed banks and leave it up to them to do the lending. In other words, he’s impatient and nationalizing the country’s financial institutions will make it easier to go Communist down the line. 

I find this rather ironic considering every political and financial official out there has chided the American public — investors especially — for being impatient when it comes to the bailout’s effects. I thought we were supposed to be satisfied twiddling our thumbs while things were tumbling down around us?

I certainly hope so, since over the last few months I’ve become a fairly masterful thumb-twiddler and I’d hate to see my newfound talent go to waste just because the economy decided to go and get itself fixed in an effective and timely manner.