Respect Authority

Well slap my ass and call me a patriot, why didn’t Diddy think of this?

While a plethora of volunteers were out encouraging the nation’s disenfranchised and apathetic residents to register, armed with tools like clipboards and pointed questions (Example: “Are you registered to vote?”) Victoria’s Secret was quietly doing everyone’s job for them. After all, with “VOTE” plastered on my ass, who wouldn’t want to sign up?

Seriously Victoria’s Secret, I appreciate your attempt at social responsibility, and applaud the fact that you managed to not only label politically conscious asses, but also to bedazzle them. That’s no small feat. But I just can’t really imagine what purpose these panties serve once you’ve convinced your boyfriend and your roommate to hit up their local polling places. (”Seriously Kira, please put some pants on. For the love of God, I will vote if you put some pants on.”) Would it be effective to drop trow every few feet on my way to work, mooning my fellow New Yorkers into action? Or would this particular underwear be best used by women who, you know, end up letting a lot of different men see them without pants on? Is there a Sluts for Obama?

At the very least, VS could pass these panties on to notorious crotch-flashers Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton. Paris in particular could then use the hours she spends in front of a mirror each day to (a) continue deciding how much tofu is too much and (b) feign political activism.

Might as well give Tara Reid a pair too, just to be safe.