Respect Authority

Twenty-nine points of compatibility, and not one was “Do you like penii or vaginii?”

Online matchmaker eHarmony will soon launch a separate Web site for those eyeing same-sex matches. (Don’t get your hopes up about the state of society – they were forced to, after losing a discrimination suit in New Jersey). Compatible Partners, the unexcitingly named same-sex site, will allow its first 10,000 visitors to register for free, after which the nation’s gay population can get scammed into paying for online dating, just like the rest of us. I mean …them. Not me. I only pay for sex.

All things considered, eHarmony’s limited take on romance makes sense in context. The company was launched in 2000 by an evangelical Christian and has long imposed somewhat bizarre restrictions on its users. For instance, eHarmony patrons are not allowed to be separated while looking for love, but must be either single or done-and-done divorced.  Moreover, although rival site Match.com does allow same-sex finds, plenty of other sites don’t. The ruling actually puts the world of online dating, or social networking, on the precipice of a slippery slope. Obligating every site to cater to all people sounds great on the surface, but puts a damper on the idea of niche matching. Ever-popular JDate.com, which specifically matches Jewish singles, would be hard-pressed to sell itself as anything else.

That said, more than anything the gays are a lucrative market and eHarmony would do well to put its Bible-thumping morals aside in the interest of making dolla’ dolla’ bills. The estimates on the country’s gay population vary widely, but we’re talking about a significant group of people here; moreover, if anyone’s willing to brush off social stigmas in the interest of love, it’s them. The lingering shame of using the Internet to find a significant other would pale in comparison to the type of discrimination gay people face every day. (Point of compatibility No. 30: “I could give a shit what people think about me”).

I guess this post ended up not being that funny. But with California actually revoking people’s pre-existing marriages these days, gay rights are nothing to laugh at. I mean, except when Rosie O’Donnell is involved.