Respect Authority

As if Google wasn’t already keyword-searching my e-mails and potentially stockpiling all the information necessary to become the real Big Brother, now the Internet search behemoth is offering to censor my alcoholism. 

This week, a Gmail engineer with many drunken regrets and a lot of time on his hands, unveiled Mail Goggles, a Gmail application that asks users a few math questions before they send an email, effectively giving them time to, you know, think things through. 

Appropriately, the application has a default weekend/night setting, though particularly scrupulous e-mailers (and full-time alcoholics) can set it to run more often. Similarly, completely unscrupulous drunks, like myself, can turn it off, and thereby continue to embarrass themselves on a weekly basis, uncensored and unleashed. 

Unfortunately, Google has yet to come up with a solution for drunk texting, drunk dialing, drunk fighting, drunk hook-ups, drunk walks of shame, drunk stomach pumping, or drunk murder. But really, it’s only a matter of time.