Respect Authority

A few weeks ago I unabashedly condemned Sharon Osbourne for her inability to instill fear in the two dozen sluts featured on Rock of Love Charm School. Echoing those sentiments last week, I had legitimately started to worry that VH1 had lost its touch. This week I was proven wrong. 

Anyone who’s seen even a smidgen of Rock of Love knows the two bitchiest bitches in all the land are Megan and Lacey. The former uses tig bitties and an abnormally long torso to distract fellow contestants from her evil machinations, and the latter might seriously be a demon come to Earth in human form. Both have weasled their way through various seasons of various VH1 shows, and both have convinced me that given the opportunity and appropriate weaponry, I would be completely capable of murder.

Well, although she didn’t boot either girl this week (even Sharon Osbourne answers to producers), Sharon cursed both girls out during elimination, to the extent that cursing out can be done on cable television. Needless to say, I feel vindicated in a way that makes no sense considering I don’t actually know any of these people.