Respect Authority

As infamous rapper Eminem once said of Dr. Dre in his subtly-titled “White America,” “Every fan black that I got, was probably his in exchange for every white fan that he got. Like damn, we just swapped, sittin’ back lookin’ at shit, wow, I’m like ‘my skin, is it starting to work to my benefit now?’”

Outside of being one of Eminem’s less innovative and more Yoda-like lyrics, the idea behind this statement is true: Eminem, ridiculed during his early days in Detroit for being too motherfucking white to rap, has surely ascended to the throne. Earlier this week, and just three weeks before the first black man in American history steps up to the presidential plate, a three-month online survey of Vibe magazine readers named Mr. Marshall Mathers the “best rapper alive.”

The most ironic part of Eminem’s win, however, isn’t actually his race. Mathers, who followed the “I’m retired, just kidding, no I’m not, yes I am again!” trajectory of many a rapper before him, hasn’t put out an album in four years. In fact, until Vibe’s announcement, I wasn’t even confident he was still alive. Moreover, also-living rapper Jay-Z, who has self-proclaimed himself “best rapper alive” more than once, lost out to Eminem in the competition’s final round, as did Lil Wayne, who consequently has a song called “Best Rapper Alive.” One can only hope the solution to these contradictions isn’t, you know, making someone the best rapper …not alive, a title Eminem could never claim anyway since as far as I know Biggie’s still dead.

Either way, a black man running for (and please oh please oh please) winning the presidency and a white man snagging the title of best living rapper gives me a great deal of hope, and not just that someday our society might escape out from under hundreds of years of deeply entrenched racism. But also hope that I too might someday be able to accomplish some of my less stereotypical dreams: professional bull rider, Murderball competitor and, naturally, best rapper alive.